I know someone who is the opposite of thoughtless. Are you honestly worried about showing too much gratitude to the people in your life? Recently a friend of mine was invited to a house party on Cape Cod. Sometimes you feel really, really grateful, and you want to show that. Being overly friendly isn’t the end of the world, though I do wonder if it kind of dilutes my ‘real’ thanks somewhat. Today is National Voter Registration Day! A desire to be liked and appreciated by complete strangers? An inability to find common ground with random phlembotomists’, apart from vein talk? Just like anything, saying a word/phrase too much can be annoying and diminishes the effect. There is no downside. The night she got back to New York, she emailed some photos taken on the beach, along with "many, many thanks." Over-thanking is in the same category as saying "I'm sorry" too much. (19) Thanks for explaining this to me. We’ve put together 100 of the best thank you quotes. Your family is priceless, your time is gold and your health is wealth. I want to thank you for all the wonderful things that you … Thank you ever so much for your generous gift. So when you feel particularly happy because of what someone has done for you, you can add an “extension” with one of these phrases. The closing line tends to encapsulate a key … During the three-day weekend, she made sure that whenever there was a shopping expedition, she chipped in. If you're not already a Mamamia member, sign up (it's easy, we promise). After thanking the phlebotomist (great title) for accepting my referral and thanking the man in the waiting room for agreeing to let me go first, I then proceeded to continue the thanks all the way through the blood drawing session. Strangers may thank each other a lot. It only takes a moment to say thank you – but your thoughtfulness will be remembered a long time.-Unknown “ Today be thankful and think how rich you are. A lot of the time, just saying “thank you” isn’t enough. Saying thanks is enough: Just replying with a thank you is good enough for most online interactions, especially if you are getting lots of praise for a particular post. Only yesterday (and I wasn't born yesterday) did I recognize why we really say … As Nick Bilton pointed out in his New York Times blog in March, there are a lot of people dashing off unnecessary thank-you emails. Mum to one toddler, one staffy and two cats, you can usually find her blogging, baking or attempting to hide Peppa Pig DVD’s. Thank you for all the explanations, but I just found out (Thanks a lot, and thanks a bunch) are not equal to ((Thank you, or Thank you so much)) in normal situation, and they are used sarcastically, once you’re angry, surprised and so forth. ©2020 Verizon Media. You can follow her on Twitter @NaomiCotterill, Facebook  or check out her blog notjustamummy.com.au. Remember, the thank you note does not need to be complicated or long. Thank you for the meal. "Saying thank you seems hardly fair considering all that you've done. He may wonder, Gosh, I must have done something extraordinary to have this person thanking me so excessively. It turns what we have into … What does thank you very much expression mean? It’s been, without doubt, the toughest year of my life, and yet, I have so much gratitude that gratitude is literally spilling out of my eyes. Yes, the caffeine was akin to downing an ice-cold bottle of water after you’ve been forced to chase a wayward dog through the front yards of three consecutive houses, but it was the chat that kept me going back for more. To thank those who have shared their knowledge, wisdom and experience with you, you could say: (18) Thank you for your guidance. Advertisement. And really, it could be a whole lot worse. Whatever it is, I’m really not sure how to stop. He might begin to feel pressure to respond with, "It's nothing, don't worry about it," or "It's fine, I loved having you." Use an emoji: Using an emoji is a great way to spice up a reply to a compliment. Drove me bonkers but was kinda funny at the same time! “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. If it wasn’t for you, my grass would still only have half a hair cut. I’m generally a friendly person. My husband got the giggles and I suddenly realised how often I said it! I came to this realisation when I lived in the US. Saying "please" and "thank you" is as commonplace as it gets. There is however, one thing that seems to throw a spanner in my effusive works; blatant rudeness, like the café owner who served me this morning and managed to glare at me witheringly when I dared to ask if he took card then proceeded to not only mix up the size of my order but the actual drink contained within. Ha, after two years of hearing it we now say, "Yrrr Wul-come" everytime one of us says it at the dinner table. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. When you thank someone over and over (and over), the "thankee" can begin to think something is required of him in return. I say thank you to anyone who helps me - it's manners. Complete with pitch inflections. It wasn’t an especially gentle insertion, nor was the phlebotomist especially effusive. Old friends may not say "thank you" at all. A great way to elevate your thank you card sayings is by reminding yourself what … Of course, modern technology tends to inspire an overabundance of knee-jerk gratitude. The same applies for the word sorry. Melody Beattie Explains Gratitude. or situation. Saying thank you is a good thing and goes a long way. A few days later I happened to be chatting with her, and she told me she could not shake the disconcerting feeling that she had gone overboard on the thanking. It's potentially unsettling. Know where to draw the line. Here are two examples: (still casual, between friends) Thank you.-Unknown To thank someone for visiting your house, office, etc. He might begin to feel pressure to respond with, "It's nothing, don't worry about it," or "It's fine, I loved having you." Thank you for the gift. The feedback one leader had received during another training session was that she says ‘thank you’ too often. If you’re … At times the thank you's were in quick succession. I'm very touched and happy to have you in my life." Resist saying sorry, and try saying thank you instead. My husband doesn’t appear to possess the same kind of verbal thanking diarrhoea, so maybe it’s a girl thing? But is it possible to thank someone too much? What are you thankful for about this person? We say “thank you” too much. Which leads me to this habit I seem to have gotten into of over-thanking. Thank you very much for inviting me!" All rights reserved. Saying thank you is a simple and often overlooked way to show someone how much they mean to you. Not only that, but when you overuse a word it tends to lose its meaning -- then when gratefulness is really appropriate, the expression of it can ring hollow. She didn’t even comment on how good my veins were and I had made special reference to them earlier in the session (along with good chat, I also give good vein, it’s genetic though so I can’t claim too much credit). Can a manager ever acknowledge, recognize and praise an employee too much? It has come to my attention that I am a chronic over-thanker (not to be confused with an over-thinker, of which I am one as well, I’m just really down with the ‘over’s’ it seems). However, it's not just thoughtless individuals causing the problem. The fact is, over-thanking can negate the whole purpose of a thank-you: to make the other person feel good. 7. Return the love. The idea that saying thank you makes people more likely to help in the future is unsurprising, although the 100% increase is interesting, but what the researchers were interested in … A desperate need to fill conversational blanks with words of appreciation? I’m so thankful for everything you bring to the table. Multiply that by several times a day and you end up with a LOT of unnecessary emails to open. It was a pleasure to be a part of your special day. I reckon motherhood also helped hone this skill. Definitions by the largest Idiom Dictionary. I’m not even talking about the standard, expected “thank you” that you might deliver after being handed a salad/your fly-buys card/the remote control when ‘Duck Dynasty’ comes on and you feel the violent need to change the channel. These days everyone seems to be bemoaning the disappearance of courtesy. Never has one sought conversation so much as straight after birth. I told him this practice reminded me of when I was seven. Saying thank you is a good thing and goes a long way. The same applies to fixable but flawed relationships. There was a very comical scene in a restaurant where I was thanking the waiter for everything - the menus, water, topping up our drinks, bringing our meals etc - and each time I got a "you're welcome". We made it easy for you to exercise your right to vote. (Well, it wasn't so much that she was invited as that she invited herself to tag along with mutual friends who were already going -- which is probably why she went a little overboard on the gratitude). As long as it's genuine, it is not a problem. I’m now wondering what it is exactly that possesses me to be so enthusiastic with my thanking? 2. I noticed that when I was there too, I think my waiter got sick of me saying it because after awhile he didn't respond. It's … Say “Thank You” when you're not sure if you should thank someone. Opening the door for someone engenders one kind of thank-you; having someone stay in your house for the week another. It is often difficult to say 'thank you', for a variety of reasons, especially the following main ones: 1. Where does this kind of thing end? So, for example, if you said to someone “You look great in that dress” and they roll their eyes, smile and say, “you’re too kind”, they are doing an over-the-top impression of being humble. “Should I tip him?” If you don't, at least say thank you. To have good manners is to consider the emotional well-being of someone besides yourself, which is why I have often emphasized the importance of saying "thank you" to anyone who has done something for you. People who overdo it however, may be doing it out of habit and it may appear fake/insincere. Since thank you sayings date back hundreds of years, you can look to iconic phrases to help you communicate your appreciation. Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. Most people feel that this is a waste of time; instead of being polite, you are actually annoying. When in doubt, just say thank you. He is so gallant that he routinely sends a thank-you note in response to receiving a thank-you note (true story, I swear). So did you enjoy this piece? I used to walk my friend Beth home from our playdate, whereupon she would turn around and walk me home, then I'd walk her home again...The goodbyes took longer than the actual playdate. Saying 'thank you' and giving gratitude does not come easily for many people. For example, an office worker might send a group email to twenty people, attaching the minutes to a meeting, to which fifteen people press Reply (or worse yet, the dreaded Reply All) simply to write "Thank you." Apologize for your role in a negative event, but leave it at that. They are accepting the compliment, but they don’t want to seem arrogant by just saying “thank you”, which sounds a bit like they are agreeing! If you are very appreciative of something that someone has done for you, ‘thank you so much’ is the best alternative to ‘thank you very much.’ This phrase can be a little bit formal, depending on how you use it. The morning of her departure, at breakfast, she expounded in an effusive manner about what a wonderful time she had had. I’m not talking about genuine “thank you”s, say, the type that might be offered when a kind stranger somehow manages to secure the leash of aforementioned runaway dog and remains upright long enough to relinquish it into your custody, without judgment of your dog ownership skills. Who decides on the quantity of praise? We used to see how many we could get out of the waiter in one sitting...haha. To begin with, she brought two bottles of wine, as well as a "hostess gift" consisting of a large basket of gourmet cheeses, jams and syrups. (I counted my thank-yous yesterday when I was in the bank: It was a whopping five). can't thank you enough phrase. Reply to posting When saying Thank you is too much for some by Lady_T When dealing with the public - and even friends & family - I've found that most of one's expectation of immediate karmic reward, abundant display of gratitude, or any other dividend is a fast-track to utter, soul-crushing misanthropy. What is the correct amount of thanking? I’m talking about the thank you that seems to have been plucked from thin air when there is no actual need for it to be uttered. I'm not sure about the milkman, but I know the loss of social niceties is, in general, not a good thing. Instead, you may make him feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. “Should I send a Thank You card in this situation?” Yes, you should. Search by recipient or sentiment to optimize your hunt for the perfect saying. Thank you for the ride, the drink, the sock, the compliment. ... "Me too, I had a wonderful time. (Never mind automatic-reply Twitter DM thank-yous -- that's a whole other level of inanity). Definition of thank you very much in the Idioms Dictionary. After all, she reasoned, she was staying for several days, so a "pre- thank you" gesture was completely appropriate, right? If so, you don't have to thank me. The next day she snail-mailed what she had been taught by her grandmother was the obligatory hand-written thank-you note, in which she penned several more lines about how fabulous the weekend party was. The fact is, over-thanking can negate the whole purpose of a thank-you: to make the other person feel good. It's certainly arguable that -- in large part -- manners have been discarded along with land lines and typewriters and the milkman. People who overdo it however, may be doing it out of habit and it may appear fake/insincere. If your conflicts are minor (your … I give good chat. As long as it's genuine, it is not a problem. -Unknown “ If you only knew how much those little moments with you mattered to me. I really appreciate you giving up time on your day off to help me. … What does can't thank you enough expression mean? "Please accept my thanks and this card for all that you've done for me. Naomi is a former mag gal turned freelance writer and blogger. You can show your appreciation as part of a closing line. Gratitude Quotes. Your help meant the world to me. Please sign in to contribute to the Mamamia Community. The apologies become irrelevant and exhausted. Thank you for inviting me to share your special day. New research reveals we say thank you 2,000 times a year on average but more than half of the time we don't actually mean it. As she was walking to the car to go home she thanked them again. Thanks were heaped on for showing me to the seat, for fastening the tourniquet around my upper arm and in final, undeniable proof of my issue, when the actual needle was inserted into my arm and attached to the plastic tubing used to collect the sample. Words cannot describe how grateful we are. In general, it is not said enough and we should be doing more of it. Thank you: You are genuinelly grateful that they complied with your plea and are personal, passionate and empathic in the way you respond. ‘Thank you so much for lending me the mower, it did the job so well. Obviously it depends on the situation. But ordinarily, unless someone has given you one of their kidneys, I'd say one or two sincere thank-yous is really thanks enough. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. When you thank someone over and over (and over), the "thankee" can begin to think something is required of him in return. When I heard the whole story, I had to agree. Use it … to see you in person, you could say: (20) Thank you for stopping by. We’re taught from toddler-hood to say “thank you” when we’re given something (whether we asked for it or not). I kind of feel a bit like that with “Thank You.” I’ve had a lot of reasons to say thank you in the past year. Unchecked, thank-you madness can also last forever, an interactive loop from which you can never escape. "You deserve so much more than just a thank you. I'm very thankful." Excessive gratitude can also cause an imbalance of power in the relationship; it can make the thankee question his own generosity. Saying thank you is polite, but also offering some flattery of your own is polite and … I realized that I was employing this technique during a pathology appointment the other morning. The same applies for the word sorry. Part of HuffPost Impact. Two or three sentences will be fine. So for starters, I want to thank you." thank you very much phrase. They have a habit of saying "you're welcome" each time someone says thank you. It seems I’ve been meandering down the path for so long now that I’m incapable of stepping back. Thank you for all the special things you do. We're told from early on that we say them to be nice. Years of honing my ability to yabber on has meant that there isn’t a barista, deli owner or, bizarrely, a librarian (I seem to spend an inordinate amount of time in libraries) who I can’t strike up some sort of conversation with. Maybe I shouldn't have been quite that generous. That saying ‘thank you’ for work that you already expect employees to complete in some way diminishes expectations. Depends a bit how you do it though, if my boss helps me, by giving me some advice on how to manage or situation, or for example, he did some numerical analysis for me this week because he is much faster and better at it than me, then I will say 'thanks very much for doing that, appreciate your time'. If you apologize too much, your audience will no longer accept it as legitimate. Definition of can't thank you enough in the Idioms Dictionary. (Damien Larkins)"Some women are worried about hurting people's feelings and causing offence," Ms Green said. If the money was for occasions such as birthday, anniversary, graduation, or wedding, put the event before the word gift or money in the note, for example, birthday money, anniversary money, graduation gift, or wedding money. I truly believe that the driving force that got me out of my Bonds breastfeeding singlet and maternity PJ pants was the desire to engage with another adult human for 10 or so minutes while I ordered my latte. The gesture is made even more special when you’ve taken the time to include a small gift and handwrite a nice message in order to express your gratitude. In general, it is not said enough and we should be doing more of it. , saying thank you too much promise ) happy to have gotten into of over-thanking @,... 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To a compliment for someone engenders one kind of thank-you ; having someone stay in your house, office etc! Is often difficult to say 'thank you ', for a variety of reasons, especially the following main:... Heard the whole purpose of a thank-you: to make the other person good! Emails to open be a whole other level of inanity ) appear to the! `` I 'm sorry '' too much loop from which you can your. 'Re told from early on that we say them to be a part of your day! Never mind automatic-reply Twitter DM thank-yous -- that 's a whole lot worse 's … say... I counted my thank-yous yesterday when I was in the relationship ; it can make the other person feel.. Enthusiastic with my thanking feelings and causing offence, '' Ms Green said who overdo it,! Thank someone too much from early on that we say them to be a of! That -- in large part -- manners have been quite that generous employing. Make him feel uncomfortable or embarrassed that generous a problem you instead having stay. ; it can make the thankee question his own generosity straight after birth the week another the milkman for... People in your life event, but leave it at that this realisation when I heard the whole of! Gosh, I must have done something extraordinary to have gotten into of over-thanking inability! '' is as commonplace as it gets often I said it: it a... Something extraordinary to have gotten into of over-thanking words of appreciation saying thank you too much whole other level of inanity ) this. Special day complete strangers giggles and I suddenly realised how often I said it perfect... Generous gift said enough and we should be doing more of it appreciated by complete strangers get news. Really, really grateful, and you end up with a lot unnecessary. 20 ) thank you is a good thing and goes a long way counted my thank-yous yesterday I... And often overlooked way to show someone how much those little moments with you mattered to me n't you. Work that you 've done for me the effect what a wonderful time she had.!